Dealing with fear of failure issues
The fear of failure is probably the number one problem holding people back from the success they desire and deserve. Conquering the fear of failure may just be the single most important thing you can do to improve your level of success and achieve your dreams and goals. There are many ways to conquer the fear of failing, and it is important to choose the techniques that best suit your own personality and style.
When dealing with and addressing fear of failure issues, it is important to first understand that such fears are perfectly normal and justified. After all, no one likes to fail, and repeated failures can be enough to make some people stop trying altogether. Although fear of failure may be normal, it is also important to know that it can be overcome.
Many of the most successful people in the worlds of entertainment, business and politics failed repeatedly before they made it big. It is rare indeed to encounter someone who was a true overnight success in any field. Most people got there through hard work and perseverance, and that means they learned to handle rejection and put their fear of failure aside in order to achieve their goals.
The first step in conquering a deep seeded fear of failure is to take a step back and see that failure is not the end of the road. Just because you failed to achieve your goal today does not mean you will not go on to triumph tomorrow. The key is to learn from every setback, and to treat every failure as an opportunity to learn rather than as a reason to stop trying.
A very famous saying," There is nothing called failure, its just an outcome. The day you fail is the day when you try last."
While it is true that if you never try anything new you can eliminate your fear of failure, this technique will not lead to a healthy and fulfilling life. New experiences, whether in the social world, your personal life, or in the business arena is what gives life its spice and spark. Eliminating these important elements of life just because you are afraid you will not succeed, is not the way to a fulfilling life.
Rather, the road to a fulfilling life, a successful business and a rewarding personal life lies in seeing failure as a temporary setback and not a permanent condition. Once you have come to see failure as permanent, it is easy to become depressed and discouraged. If, on the other hand, you see failure as temporary, and use it as a way to learn and grow, your fear of failure will be diminished or even eliminated.
Of course, dealing with fear of failure in this manner is easier said than done, and it will take a lot of work, perseverance and patience to truly overcome a fear of failure. It all boils down to having a positive attitude, and knowing that you can succeed. The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your success as well. For instance, if you choose to surround yourself with people who are negative, or those who think they can never succeed, that bad attitude is bound to rub off on you, and make conquering your fear of failure that much harder.
If, on the other hand, you can surround yourself with positive people, those who express a can do attitude about life, that attitude will be infectious as well. A positive attitude is as easy to spread as a negative one, so try to keep your circle of contacts positive and focused on your goals.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Understand The Problem Before You Diagnose
Suppose u have been having trouble with your eyes and u decide to go to an optometrist for help. After briefly listening to your complaint,he takes off his glasses and hands them to you."
Put these on, "he says. "I've worn this pair of glasses for ten years now and they have helped me, I have an extra pair at home; you can wear these."
So you put them on, but it only makes the problem worse."This is terrible!" you exclaim. I can't see a thing!""Well, that's wrong?" he asks. "
They work great for me. Try harder."" I am trying, " you insist. " everything is a blur.""Well, what's the matter with you? Think positively can't see a thing.""Boy, are you ungrateful!" he chides. " And after all I've done to help you!"
What are the chances you'd go back to that optometrist the next time you needed help? Not very good, I would imagine. You don't have much confidence in someone who doesn't diagnose before he or she prescribes.
We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.
If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.
This principle is also true in sales. Diagnosing before you prescribe is also fundamental to law.
A good lawyer almost rights the opposing attorney's case before he rights his own.
A good engineer will understand the forces, the stresses at work before designing the bridge.
A good teacher will assess the class before teaching.
A good student will understand before he applies.
A good parent will understand before evaluating or judging.
The key to good judgment is understanding.
If you want to interact effectively with to influence __ your spouse, your child, your neighbor, your boss, your coworker, your friend____ you first need to understand them.
And you can't do that with technique alone.
If they Sense you are using some technique they sense duplicity, manipulation.
They will wonder why you are doing it, what your motives are and will not feel safe enough to open themselves up to you.
Then as much as they want and even need to receive your love and influence, they will not feel safe enough to expose their opinions and experiences and their tender feelings.
Who knows what will happen? But unless they open up with you, unless you understand them and their unique situations and feelings, you wont know how to advice or counsel them.
What you say is good and fine, but it doesn't quite pertain to them.
You may say you care about and appreciate them when you don't even understand them?
All they have are your words, and they can't trust words.So if you want to be really effective in the habit of interpersonal communication, you cannot do it with technique alone.
You have to first understand, only then you will be understood.
Put these on, "he says. "I've worn this pair of glasses for ten years now and they have helped me, I have an extra pair at home; you can wear these."
So you put them on, but it only makes the problem worse."This is terrible!" you exclaim. I can't see a thing!""Well, that's wrong?" he asks. "
They work great for me. Try harder."" I am trying, " you insist. " everything is a blur.""Well, what's the matter with you? Think positively can't see a thing.""Boy, are you ungrateful!" he chides. " And after all I've done to help you!"
What are the chances you'd go back to that optometrist the next time you needed help? Not very good, I would imagine. You don't have much confidence in someone who doesn't diagnose before he or she prescribes.
We have such a tendency to rush in, to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to take the time to diagnose, to really, deeply understand the problem first.
If I were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle I have learned in the field of interpersonal relations, it would be this: seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.
This principle is also true in sales. Diagnosing before you prescribe is also fundamental to law.
A good lawyer almost rights the opposing attorney's case before he rights his own.
A good engineer will understand the forces, the stresses at work before designing the bridge.
A good teacher will assess the class before teaching.
A good student will understand before he applies.
A good parent will understand before evaluating or judging.
The key to good judgment is understanding.
If you want to interact effectively with to influence __ your spouse, your child, your neighbor, your boss, your coworker, your friend____ you first need to understand them.
And you can't do that with technique alone.
If they Sense you are using some technique they sense duplicity, manipulation.
They will wonder why you are doing it, what your motives are and will not feel safe enough to open themselves up to you.
Then as much as they want and even need to receive your love and influence, they will not feel safe enough to expose their opinions and experiences and their tender feelings.
Who knows what will happen? But unless they open up with you, unless you understand them and their unique situations and feelings, you wont know how to advice or counsel them.
What you say is good and fine, but it doesn't quite pertain to them.
You may say you care about and appreciate them when you don't even understand them?
All they have are your words, and they can't trust words.So if you want to be really effective in the habit of interpersonal communication, you cannot do it with technique alone.
You have to first understand, only then you will be understood.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Problems Are Not Your Problem
By Mark Victor Hansen
You see, problems are going to come and go. Your life is not going to be perfect every day. Even if you have the most positive mindset, problems are going to present themselves. That’s a fact. You can’t change it.
What I want you to understand is that PROBLEMS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. They are just situations that are presented to you. You have two choices when presented with problems: You can see them as destructive, spirit-breaking potholes in the road of life; or you can see them as constructive, mind-expanding opportunities to problem solve and move forward to success. It’s that simple.
Remember: Encountering difficulties is part of life. Count yourself lucky as you’ve been “chosen” to seek out and learn a valuable lesson! The only people who don’t have problems are dead people.
“Claim and believe hard tasks are easy and they will become easier and be accomplished more quickly.”
THIS WEEK’S ACTION STEP
In closing this week, I’d like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
I want you to look at your life. What do you consider to be problems? What are the problems that you worry about on a daily basis? Take out a journal or notebook and a pen. Sit down and close your eyes. Write them all down. Remember, we’re talking about the present, not the future – that will come soon enough.
Is money an issue? Your physical appearance? Your health? Fear of failure? What is it that you worry about?
Now, look at the problems you have written down. These are the things that you have allowed to have power over you. They have pulled the wool over your eyes and led you to believe that this is where you have to stop thinking – these problems are the end. Instead, start thinking “These problems are just the beginning to new discovery!”
When you were given math homework in school, the teacher didn’t say, “Okay, kids. Take these problems home and worry about them, and tomorrow I’ll give you more problems to worry about.” The teacher said, “Here are the problems. They have answers. Solve them.”
That’s what I want you to do. I want you to take your list and write one problem at the top of a sheet of paper. (Do this for all of them.) Then under each problem write another header: “Solutions”. Now, here’s where the fun starts – yes, it’s going to be fun. I want you to “think outside the glass” and come up with new, creative, crazy solutions to each problem. I don’t care how impossible you believe your solutions are, write them down. Crazy solutions are genius in disguise.
Write 20 solutions for each problem. Afterwards, break each solution down into action steps. Once you’ve done that, I want you to decide which solution you are capable of doing right now, at this very minute. Then do it. Do each action step until you have completed that solution. If your problem is still there, try another solution. Keep going until you have discovered the one that works.
Remember Thomas Edison. Once he was asked what he had to say about the fact that he had failed thousands of times while trying to create the light bulb. Edison said he had never failed, he simply “had to run through enough learning experiences to find a way that worked.”
You see, problems are going to come and go. Your life is not going to be perfect every day. Even if you have the most positive mindset, problems are going to present themselves. That’s a fact. You can’t change it.
What I want you to understand is that PROBLEMS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. They are just situations that are presented to you. You have two choices when presented with problems: You can see them as destructive, spirit-breaking potholes in the road of life; or you can see them as constructive, mind-expanding opportunities to problem solve and move forward to success. It’s that simple.
Remember: Encountering difficulties is part of life. Count yourself lucky as you’ve been “chosen” to seek out and learn a valuable lesson! The only people who don’t have problems are dead people.
“Claim and believe hard tasks are easy and they will become easier and be accomplished more quickly.”
THIS WEEK’S ACTION STEP
In closing this week, I’d like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
I want you to look at your life. What do you consider to be problems? What are the problems that you worry about on a daily basis? Take out a journal or notebook and a pen. Sit down and close your eyes. Write them all down. Remember, we’re talking about the present, not the future – that will come soon enough.
Is money an issue? Your physical appearance? Your health? Fear of failure? What is it that you worry about?
Now, look at the problems you have written down. These are the things that you have allowed to have power over you. They have pulled the wool over your eyes and led you to believe that this is where you have to stop thinking – these problems are the end. Instead, start thinking “These problems are just the beginning to new discovery!”
When you were given math homework in school, the teacher didn’t say, “Okay, kids. Take these problems home and worry about them, and tomorrow I’ll give you more problems to worry about.” The teacher said, “Here are the problems. They have answers. Solve them.”
That’s what I want you to do. I want you to take your list and write one problem at the top of a sheet of paper. (Do this for all of them.) Then under each problem write another header: “Solutions”. Now, here’s where the fun starts – yes, it’s going to be fun. I want you to “think outside the glass” and come up with new, creative, crazy solutions to each problem. I don’t care how impossible you believe your solutions are, write them down. Crazy solutions are genius in disguise.
Write 20 solutions for each problem. Afterwards, break each solution down into action steps. Once you’ve done that, I want you to decide which solution you are capable of doing right now, at this very minute. Then do it. Do each action step until you have completed that solution. If your problem is still there, try another solution. Keep going until you have discovered the one that works.
Remember Thomas Edison. Once he was asked what he had to say about the fact that he had failed thousands of times while trying to create the light bulb. Edison said he had never failed, he simply “had to run through enough learning experiences to find a way that worked.”
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