Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Self Confidence

Self confidence gives us the freedom to commit mistakes and cope with failure without making us feel worthless. If only we have confidence in ourselves, can we gain confidence of others. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project thats being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held his or her head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something.
So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here is some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on.
Lets start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.
Recognize your insecurities: We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesnt come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone.
Identify your successes: No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which youve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
Be thankful for what you have: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether its emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
Dress sharp: Although clothes don't make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you dont look good, you dont feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn'tt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes.
Walk faster: Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
Compliment other people: When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, youll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Take the front seat: Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don't be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.
Speak up: Its a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
Work out: A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way.
Smile: Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Overcoming Depression

Everybody feels "down" or "blue" sometimes. But, if these feelings are very strong or last for most of the day nearly every day for two weeks or longer, they may be due to a medical illness called depression.

The good news is that depression can be treated. You do not have to face this problem without help.

Warning Signs of Depression

Changes in the way you feel:
  • You feel sad, hopeless, or guilty most of the time.
  • You feel tired or lack energy.
  • You have thoughts of suicide or death.
Changes in sleeping and eating habits:
  • You sleep either too much or too little.
  • Your appetite has changed. You have gained or lost weight.
Changes in daily living:
  • You have lost interest and pleasure in daily activities.
  • You have problems making decisions or thinking clearly.

If you have had most of these symptoms for at least two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. Talk to your doctor about whether you are depressed and what you should do about it.

The sooner you get treatment for depression, the sooner you will begin to feel better. The longer you wait, the harder depression is to treat.

Depression usually is treated with counseling, medicine, or both. Medicines for depression are not addicting or habit forming. They work for people with severe depression and may be useful for people with mild to moderate depression.

Treatment works gradually over several weeks. If you do not start to feel better after this time, tell your doctor. It may take some time to find what works best for you.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Definition of Anger…..?

"If you cannot control your anger you are helpless

Like A city without walls…..,Open to attack."

"A fool gives full vent to his anger…..!!!,

But a wise man keeps himself…….under control."

Someone said, "Your temper is one of your most

Valuable Possessions. So……..Don't lose it."

"Anybody can become angry…..that is very easy,

But to be angry with the right person,

to the right degree,

at the right time,

for the right purpose,

& in the right way……

that is not within everybody's power…....& is not easy."

If we can't control our anger……,It will control us.

When anger is turned inward…., it leads to depression.

When it is turned outward…., it leads to aggression.

Anger is like a splinter in your finger. If you leave it there,

It gets infected & hurts every time you use your finger.

If you remove it……, the sore heals & you feel better.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Mentally Tough

One of the least talked about factors of success is being mentally tough. Mental toughness will allow you to endure adversity, hardship, setbacks and ultimately achieve success.

The next question is – What does it mean to be mentally tough?

Ø It means when trouble and heartaches head your way – you are not permanently knocked off the bicycle of life.

Ø It means when your plan is not going exactly the way you planned – you press on.

Ø It means when others criticize you – you refuse to allow someone else to dictate your thoughts or direction.

Ø It means you know who you are.

Ø It means you accept 100% responsibility for every action you have ever committed.

Now, if being mentally tough is so crucial to success –

How do you become mentally tough?

Some of the most mentally tough people I have ever known have mastered and adopted three behaviors;-

Ø They never blame someone else for their actions

Ø They are physically fit

Ø They accomplish their daily GOALS.

Never blame someone else for your actions.

The first key to being mentally tough is refusing to be a victim and accepting 100% responsibility for your actions.. It is not your parents' fault, your boss's fault, the fault of the government or someone you knew when you were a teenager. How in the world can you be mentally tough when you blame others for your lot in life? It is empowering to accept responsibility for your fate.

When you consciously or subconsciously blame another (government, economy, family, etc.) for the outcome of your life, you are significantly reducing the chances of a happy life. This is true because you have given someone else the power to control your thoughts and actions.

Physically fit

Become mentally tough by becoming physically tough. Yes, there is a confidence that you will have when your muscles are toned and a walk on the beach does not exhaust you.

The confidence that comes from being fit is one that can't be found anywhere else. Watch what you eat and exercise. It is crucial in being mentally tough.

Setting Goals

Set goals and then accomplish them! How many times do people make New Years resolutions only to break them by January 20th? This is a much bigger deal than you may think. It is a big deal because subconsciously you are telling your mind, "I can't even keep a New Years resolution!" When you tell yourself this subconsciously, you then begin to lose confidence in yourself and every aspect of your life is affected. When someone compliments you – it makes you feel awkward because deep down you think, "Gee, if they only knew that I can't even keep a New Years resolution."

Conversely, if you set a small goal daily and you accomplish it, your self-confidence begins to build. Subconsciously you are telling yourself, "I am valuable – I am worth it – I can hit my goals – I am successful.' When you see yourself this way, you are well on the way to becoming mentally tough.

When you accomplish this goal day after day, even though it is so small, it is making a mental deposit into your self-esteem bank account that says you can accomplish goals and are valuable.

Being mentally tough is often the last piece of the puzzle to focus on for success. Yet, I know very few successful people who are not mentally tough. It is easier to get there than you think. Become responsible for your life, stay in shape and set and accomplish your goals.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dealing With Negative Thinking, Panic, And Paralyzing Fears

I recently heard about someone who had been laid off at the company he worked at because of the faltering economy. He didn't have many job leads and his motivation was at an all-time low. He felt that there was nothing more frightening than being at an uncertain job market.

Panic and fear quickly took over; where would he go from go from there?

How would he pay his bills?

How would he cope with uncertainty?

His mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and he began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze him into stagnant ground forever.

As he began to realize what a toll his predicament was leaving him in, it became clear to him that he needed to take action and do something to get himself out of the hole he was in.

Once he sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing his dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and he was on a roll!

Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.

The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.

Reading through them should help you gain some perspectives into your particular situation:

- Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong. Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you have to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were. It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way. Take some time to get in touch with those feelings. The night this person got laid off he went home, Fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes. Then he got up, took a bath, changed into some comfortable clothes, and then he spent some time sitting in front of the television watching his favorite show.

Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be. But focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.

- Take a DEEP BREATH! - Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it. Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus. Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.

- Organize your home, organize your life - Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have? If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it. There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it. So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way. You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.

- Surround yourself with positive people - Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive. Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.


- Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism - Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus. Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it. Take charge of your life again.

- Have someone objective to talk to - When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful. In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.

- Keep a journal of your progress - Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.

- Get out of the house! - Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.

- Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you - Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like playing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings? These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.

- Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE! - Easier said than done. Believe me, nothing about our friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had he not kept himself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety. Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do. So dress up, get your smile and go out into the world!

Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.

All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!