Overcoming Depression

Everybody feels "down" or "blue" sometimes. But, if these feelings are very strong or last for most of the day nearly every day for two weeks or longer, they may be due to a medical illness called depression.

The good news is that depression can be treated. You do not have to face this problem without help.

Warning Signs of Depression

Changes in the way you feel:

• You feel sad, hopeless, or guilty most of the time.
• You feel tired or lack energy.
• You have thoughts of suicide or death.

Changes in sleeping and eating habits:

• You sleep either too much or too little.
• Your appetite has changed. You have gained or lost weight.

Changes in daily living:

• You have lost interest and pleasure in daily activities.
• You have problems making decisions or thinking clearly.

If you have had most of these symptoms for at least two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. Talk to your doctor about whether you are depressed and what you should do about it.

The sooner you get treatment for depression, the sooner you will begin to feel better. The longer you wait, the harder depression is to treat.

Depression usually is treated with counseling, medicine, or both. Medicines for depression are not addicting or habit forming. They work for people with severe depression and may be useful for people with mild to moderate depression.

Treatment works gradually over several weeks. If you do not start to feel better after this time, tell your doctor. It may take some time to find what works best for you.

Definition of Anger…..?

"If you cannot control your anger you are helpless

Like A city without walls…..,Open to attack."

"A fool gives full vent to his anger…..!!!,

But a wise man keeps himself…….under control."

Someone said, "Your temper is one of your most

Valuable Possessions. So……..Don't lose it."

"Anybody can become angry…..that is very easy,

But to be angry with the right person,

to the right degree,

at the right time,

for the right purpose,

& in the right way……

that is not within everybody's power…....& is not easy."

If we can't control our anger……,It will control us.

When anger is turned inward…., it leads to depression.

When it is turned outward…., it leads to aggression.

Anger is like a splinter in your finger. If you leave it there,

It gets infected & hurts every time you use your finger.

If you remove it……, the sore heals & you feel better.

Mentally Tough

One of the least talked about factors of success is being mentally tough. Mental toughness will allow you to endure adversity, hardship, setbacks and ultimately achieve success.

The next question is – What does it mean to be mentally tough?

Ø It means when trouble and heartaches head your way – you are not permanently knocked off the bicycle of life.

Ø It means when your plan is not going exactly the way you planned – you press on.

Ø It means when others criticize you – you refuse to allow someone else to dictate your thoughts or direction.

Ø It means you know who you are.

Ø It means you accept 100% responsibility for every action you have ever committed.

Now, if being mentally tough is so crucial to success –

How do you become mentally tough?

Some of the most mentally tough people I have ever known have mastered and adopted three behaviors;-

Ø They never blame someone else for their actions

Ø They are physically fit

Ø They accomplish their daily GOALS.

Never blame someone else for your actions.

The first key to being mentally tough is refusing to be a victim and accepting 100% responsibility for your actions.. It is not your parents' fault, your boss's fault, the fault of the government or someone you knew when you were a teenager. How in the world can you be mentally tough when you blame others for your lot in life? It is empowering to accept responsibility for your fate.

When you consciously or subconsciously blame another (government, economy, family, etc.) for the outcome of your life, you are significantly reducing the chances of a happy life. This is true because you have given someone else the power to control your thoughts and actions.

Physically fit

Become mentally tough by becoming physically tough. Yes, there is a confidence that you will have when your muscles are toned and a walk on the beach does not exhaust you.

The confidence that comes from being fit is one that can't be found anywhere else. Watch what you eat and exercise. It is crucial in being mentally tough.

Setting Goals

Set goals and then accomplish them! How many times do people make New Years resolutions only to break them by January 20th? This is a much bigger deal than you may think. It is a big deal because subconsciously you are telling your mind, "I can't even keep a New Years resolution!" When you tell yourself this subconsciously, you then begin to lose confidence in yourself and every aspect of your life is affected. When someone compliments you – it makes you feel awkward because deep down you think, "Gee, if they only knew that I can't even keep a New Years resolution."

Conversely, if you set a small goal daily and you accomplish it, your self-confidence begins to build. Subconsciously you are telling yourself, "I am valuable – I am worth it – I can hit my goals – I am successful.' When you see yourself this way, you are well on the way to becoming mentally tough.

When you accomplish this goal day after day, even though it is so small, it is making a mental deposit into your self-esteem bank account that says you can accomplish goals and are valuable.

Being mentally tough is often the last piece of the puzzle to focus on for success. Yet, I know very few successful people who are not mentally tough. It is easier to get there than you think. Become responsible for your life, stay in shape and set and accomplish your goals.

Dealing With Negative Thinking, Panic, And Paralyzing Fears

I recently heard about someone who had been laid off at the company he worked at because of the faltering economy. He didn't have many job leads and his motivation was at an all-time low. He felt that there was nothing more frightening than being at an uncertain job market.

Panic and fear quickly took over; where would he go from go from there?

How would he pay his bills?

How would he cope with uncertainty?

His mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and he began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze him into stagnant ground forever.

As he began to realize what a toll his predicament was leaving him in, it became clear to him that he needed to take action and do something to get himself out of the hole he was in.

Once he sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing his dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and he was on a roll!

Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.

The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.

Reading through them should help you gain some perspectives into your particular situation:

- Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong. Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you have to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were. It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way. Take some time to get in touch with those feelings. The night this person got laid off he went home, Fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes. Then he got up, took a bath, changed into some comfortable clothes, and then he spent some time sitting in front of the television watching his favorite show.

Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be. But focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.

- Take a DEEP BREATH! - Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it. Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus. Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.

- Organize your home, organize your life - Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have? If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it. There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it. So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way. You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.

- Surround yourself with positive people - Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive. Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.

However:

- Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism - Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus. Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it. Take charge of your life again.

- Have someone objective to talk to - When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful. In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.

- Keep a journal of your progress - Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.

- Get out of the house! - Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.

- Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you - Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like playing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings? These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.

- Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE! - Easier said than done. Believe me, nothing about our friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had he not kept himself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety. Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do. So dress up, get your smile and go out into the world!

Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.

All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!

Being Happy

By Donald Latumahina, July 23, 2008

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.

I choose to be happy. What about you?