Self Confidence

Self confidence gives us the freedom to commit mistakes and cope with failure without making us feel worthless. If only we have confidence in ourselves, can we gain confidence of others. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project thats being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held his or her head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something.

 

So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here is some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on.

 

Lets start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.

 

Recognize your insecurities: We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesnt come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone.

 

Identify your successes: No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which youve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.

 

Be thankful for what you have: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether its emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

 

Be positive: Avoid self-pity or sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others.

 

Dress sharp: Although clothes don't make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you dont look good, you dont feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn'tt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes.

 

Walk faster: Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

 

Compliment other people: When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, youll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Take the front seat: Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don't be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.

 

Speak up: Its a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

 

Work out: A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way.

 

Smile: Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence.

Overcoming Depression

Everybody feels "down" or "blue" sometimes. But, if these feelings are very strong or last for most of the day nearly every day for two weeks or longer, they may be due to a medical illness called depression.

The good news is that depression can be treated. You do not have to face this problem without help.

Warning Signs of Depression

Changes in the way you feel:

• You feel sad, hopeless, or guilty most of the time.
• You feel tired or lack energy.
• You have thoughts of suicide or death.

Changes in sleeping and eating habits:

• You sleep either too much or too little.
• Your appetite has changed. You have gained or lost weight.

Changes in daily living:

• You have lost interest and pleasure in daily activities.
• You have problems making decisions or thinking clearly.

If you have had most of these symptoms for at least two weeks, you may be suffering from depression. Talk to your doctor about whether you are depressed and what you should do about it.

The sooner you get treatment for depression, the sooner you will begin to feel better. The longer you wait, the harder depression is to treat.

Depression usually is treated with counseling, medicine, or both. Medicines for depression are not addicting or habit forming. They work for people with severe depression and may be useful for people with mild to moderate depression.

Treatment works gradually over several weeks. If you do not start to feel better after this time, tell your doctor. It may take some time to find what works best for you.

Definition of Anger…..?

"If you cannot control your anger you are helpless

Like A city without walls…..,Open to attack."

"A fool gives full vent to his anger…..!!!,

But a wise man keeps himself…….under control."

Someone said, "Your temper is one of your most

Valuable Possessions. So……..Don't lose it."

"Anybody can become angry…..that is very easy,

But to be angry with the right person,

to the right degree,

at the right time,

for the right purpose,

& in the right way……

that is not within everybody's power…....& is not easy."

If we can't control our anger……,It will control us.

When anger is turned inward…., it leads to depression.

When it is turned outward…., it leads to aggression.

Anger is like a splinter in your finger. If you leave it there,

It gets infected & hurts every time you use your finger.

If you remove it……, the sore heals & you feel better.

Mentally Tough

One of the least talked about factors of success is being mentally tough. Mental toughness will allow you to endure adversity, hardship, setbacks and ultimately achieve success.

The next question is – What does it mean to be mentally tough?

Ø It means when trouble and heartaches head your way – you are not permanently knocked off the bicycle of life.

Ø It means when your plan is not going exactly the way you planned – you press on.

Ø It means when others criticize you – you refuse to allow someone else to dictate your thoughts or direction.

Ø It means you know who you are.

Ø It means you accept 100% responsibility for every action you have ever committed.

Now, if being mentally tough is so crucial to success –

How do you become mentally tough?

Some of the most mentally tough people I have ever known have mastered and adopted three behaviors;-

Ø They never blame someone else for their actions

Ø They are physically fit

Ø They accomplish their daily GOALS.

Never blame someone else for your actions.

The first key to being mentally tough is refusing to be a victim and accepting 100% responsibility for your actions.. It is not your parents' fault, your boss's fault, the fault of the government or someone you knew when you were a teenager. How in the world can you be mentally tough when you blame others for your lot in life? It is empowering to accept responsibility for your fate.

When you consciously or subconsciously blame another (government, economy, family, etc.) for the outcome of your life, you are significantly reducing the chances of a happy life. This is true because you have given someone else the power to control your thoughts and actions.

Physically fit

Become mentally tough by becoming physically tough. Yes, there is a confidence that you will have when your muscles are toned and a walk on the beach does not exhaust you.

The confidence that comes from being fit is one that can't be found anywhere else. Watch what you eat and exercise. It is crucial in being mentally tough.

Setting Goals

Set goals and then accomplish them! How many times do people make New Years resolutions only to break them by January 20th? This is a much bigger deal than you may think. It is a big deal because subconsciously you are telling your mind, "I can't even keep a New Years resolution!" When you tell yourself this subconsciously, you then begin to lose confidence in yourself and every aspect of your life is affected. When someone compliments you – it makes you feel awkward because deep down you think, "Gee, if they only knew that I can't even keep a New Years resolution."

Conversely, if you set a small goal daily and you accomplish it, your self-confidence begins to build. Subconsciously you are telling yourself, "I am valuable – I am worth it – I can hit my goals – I am successful.' When you see yourself this way, you are well on the way to becoming mentally tough.

When you accomplish this goal day after day, even though it is so small, it is making a mental deposit into your self-esteem bank account that says you can accomplish goals and are valuable.

Being mentally tough is often the last piece of the puzzle to focus on for success. Yet, I know very few successful people who are not mentally tough. It is easier to get there than you think. Become responsible for your life, stay in shape and set and accomplish your goals.

Dealing With Negative Thinking, Panic, And Paralyzing Fears

I recently heard about someone who had been laid off at the company he worked at because of the faltering economy. He didn't have many job leads and his motivation was at an all-time low. He felt that there was nothing more frightening than being at an uncertain job market.

Panic and fear quickly took over; where would he go from go from there?

How would he pay his bills?

How would he cope with uncertainty?

His mind was plagued with self-doubting, self-defeating thoughts and he began to spiral out of control, right into a dangerous state of anxiety that threatened to paralyze him into stagnant ground forever.

As he began to realize what a toll his predicament was leaving him in, it became clear to him that he needed to take action and do something to get himself out of the hole he was in.

Once he sat down and began to reflect on things, working through the paralyzing fear and the negativity that came along with the devastation of losing his dream job and having to start over from the beginning, everything started to make sense and he was on a roll!

Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis to help us refocus our thoughts and energies into what we want our professional and personal goals to be and what we need to accomplish.

The following points will help you focus and concentrate on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, motivating you to move forward into action rather than leaving you stuck in a rut.

Reading through them should help you gain some perspectives into your particular situation:

- Allow yourself to be upset and grieve if things have gone wrong. Sometimes you suffer from start-up inertia because you have to make a new start and you're stubbornly holding on to the way things were. It is perfectly normal to feel panicked, upset, angry, sad, even outraged; you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way. Take some time to get in touch with those feelings. The night this person got laid off he went home, Fell into bed and literally could not move for 45 minutes. Then he got up, took a bath, changed into some comfortable clothes, and then he spent some time sitting in front of the television watching his favorite show.

Give your mind and body time to settle into the initial shock of change, whatever it may be. But focus primarily on how you feel and let those feelings out.

- Take a DEEP BREATH! - Your mind deserves it, your body deserves it, your lungs deserve it. Taking deep breaths improves circulation, calms anxiety and helps you focus. Once you're done moping, take a deep breath and start to move.

- Organize your home, organize your life - Is your house a mess? What about your room or your home office? Can you not see yourself going through the piles of papers on top of your desk? Have you looked at your bills lately and seen what you have? If you haven't done any of these things, now is the time to do it. There is nothing more stressful when we are in a state of panic than a living space that has no room for us to live in it. So tackle the mess; wash those clothes, clean out that pantry, throw out the clutter, get those bills out of the way. You'll be surprised how much more motivated you will be when you surround yourself with cleanliness and order.

- Surround yourself with positive people - Now would be a good time to reconnect with friends that you haven't spoken to in a while, or even with the friends that you talked to just yesterday, those friends that always have an encouraging word, who are helpful and positive. Do yourself a favor and avoid people who are always down in the dumps, or who always have something negative to say.

However:

- Don't confuse negativity with constructive criticism - Some friends may seem like they're helping but they're just feeding the cynicism. Conversely, friends that may appear to be negative are actually offering ways to help by sharing your experiences and showing you a better way to focus. Listen to the people that are there for you, take what you can use, and dismiss those things that you don't want to use or that you can't use. Don't allow yourself to be brought down by it. Take charge of your life again.

- Have someone objective to talk to - When possible, sometimes having an objective third party to talk to and run ideas by can be tremendously helpful. In some cases, a therapist can be of vital importance in your growth process towards finding yourself and focusing on your career and life goals. They can provide you with a perspective that is sound, rational and unbiased, while still keeping your best interests in mind.

- Keep a journal of your progress - Write your ideas and your thoughts down and read over them the day after. You will gain some valuable perspective and insight into your own growth and where you are at.

- Get out of the house! - Take your laptop or notebook to the local coffee shop or park, somewhere with some interaction and get out into the world! This will give you a chance to get out of the house and possibly meet some people, network and create some opportunities towards accomplishing your goals.

- Actively look for opportunities to do the things that you love most and turn them into opportunities for you - Do you enjoy attending art shows? Love doing volunteer work? Do you like playing with friends or going to the library or attending meetings? These are all things that would not only satisfy the craving for you to do something that you enjoy, but it would also present you with opportunities to network, meet people that could help you get ahead, and spend time taking care of yourself and your mental and emotional health.

- Finally, SMILE and BELIEVE! - Easier said than done. Believe me, nothing about our friend's situation warranted a smile and some faith. But had he not kept himself smiling, it would have been so much harder to be positive and pull out of that state of anxiety. Believe in yourself and the things that you have accomplished and remember that you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to do. So dress up, get your smile and go out into the world!

Taking heed of these valuable insights will help you create and maintain a positive energy source in your life and keep inertia at bay. You will feel better, be more motivated and definitely more at peace.

All it takes is for you to make that first move. Don't let panic paralyze you into inertia. Anything is possible; it's up to you to make it happen!

Being Happy

By Donald Latumahina, July 23, 2008

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Leo Tolstoy

There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That’s why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.

So I studied what the great minds in history say about being happy. I went through hundreds of quotes on being happy and extracted the best lessons out of them. Not only are these lessons useful, they are also timeless in nature.

Here I’d like to share what I learned with you. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:

1. Forget the past

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

You won’t be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Did you make mistakes? Did you have terrible experiences? Whatever they are, you should let them go. There’s nothing you can do about the past, so you’d better let them go and focus your energy on the present.

2. Take responsibility for your life

The secret of Happiness is Freedom, and the secret of Freedom, Courage.
Thucydides

To be happy you should have freedom and the most essential freedom is the freedom to choose. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how you respond to it. People can annoy you, but it’s up to you whether or not you will resent.

But, as the quote above says, freedom takes courage. Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life. You shouldn’t blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take the responsibility and you have the power to choose.

3. Build relationships

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
Unknown

Relationships is where we can get true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you are on your way to true happiness.

4. Develop multiple passions

The more passions and desires one has, the more ways one has of being happy.
Charlotte-Catherine

Passions lead you to happiness. So not only should you discover your multiple passions, you should also expand yourself to new passions. This way you will create new ways to happiness.

The key to expanding to new passions is curiosity. If you are curious, you will have an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.

5. Build your character

Character is the basis of happiness and happiness the sanction of character.
George Santayana

Building your character is essential for happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be in peace.

The way to start building character is by making promises and keeping them. For example, you make promise to yourself that you won’t smoke. When you keep it, you are building your character. Or you make promise to others to be punctual. When you keep it, you build your character.

6. Be who you are

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Desiderius Erasmus

You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don’t live other people’s life by trying to meet their expectations. People may expect you to have certain job or certain way of living but don’t be intimidated by them. Find who you are and be yourself.

7. Live your life purpose

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
William Cowper

To have a fulfilling life, you should find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what matters to you and build the courage to follow it. Having a one-liner will help you internalize and communicate your mission.

8. Count your blessings

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Unknown

Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don’t have is often easier than seeing what we have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before appreciating what we have. So don’t take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have plenty of reasons to be happy. You may start with these simple things.

9. Have positive mind

It is not the place, nor the condition, but the mind alone that can make anyone happy or miserable.
Roger L’Estrange

Happy people know how to control their mind. They don’t let negative thoughts come in. While a situation may seem bad to others, happy people look at them in a positive way. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation seems, there is always something positive to take from it. Your mind can make or break you, so guard it well.

10. Work creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

When you work creatively on something you will find happiness. There is a well-known phenomenon regarding this called flow. When you are in the state of flow, you are fully focused on the task at hand that you no longer realize the passage of time. This state of flow allows you to achieve high productivity and being happy at the same time. Here are some tips to achieve it.

11. Start with what you have

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.
James Oppenheim

Happy people don’t need something they don’t have to be happy. They don’t need certain job or certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of contentment. Be content with what you have and you will be happy.

12. Change

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
Confucius

Being happy requires you to constantly grow. In fact, the process of learning itself is essential for happiness. Have you ever felt the excitement of being enlightened about something? Have you ever felt the excitement of achieving a new level in life? Top 10 Things You Should Change in Your Life gives you some practical tips on changing your life.

13. Use your talents

True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.
Douglas Pagels

There are two lessons to take from this quote. First, you should find your talents and second, you should use them to the fullest. Working in your talents is a sure way to enjoy your work because it’s something you are “hardwired” to do. Using your talents fully will make you even happier because of the satisfaction of doing your best.

14. Beware of small things

The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.
Ernest Dimnet

This is very true. Often it’s not big things that ruin your happiness. It’s the small things that do. Perhaps you don’t like someone or break some “small” promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.

15. Distill your ambitions

Where ambition ends happiness begins.
Author Unknown

While wanting to achieve more in your life is good, being obsessed by it is not. Do your best to improve yourself but don’t be obsessed by it.

16. Make others happy

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my favorite secret of happiness. The way to being happy is to make others happy first. The more you help other people and make them happy, the more you will be happy. Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness but through selflessness. You reap what you sow.

17. Practice compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
The Dalai Lama

Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly says, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.

But of course, it requires practice. Start with thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don’t do it out of compassion in the beginning, your compassion will grow over time.

***

All in all, this quote by Aristotle can summarize the lessons above:

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

It’s you who decide whether or not you are happy in life.

I choose to be happy. What about you?

True love is felt by all who receive and value it.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where others are not
responding to the love we are giving. We are trying to be understanding and accepting as much as possible but others don't seem to be recognizing it.

In such a situation we begin to blame others and their lack of feelings and concern. This is very common amongst parents who are in their retirement age.Many factors influence such behaviour.Some are due to the current hype age our children are living in and being brought up in (where moral values and responsibilities take the back seat !)and more often then not a partner in a son's life may mean sacrificing the love the son is expected to give back to his parents & instead devote it to his wife.

Solution:

Instead of blaming others when our love and concern is not being reciprocated, we need to check the quality of the love that we give. If there is even a trace of selfishness or if it is mixed with expectations, our love will not be able to reach out and touch the hearts of others. So we need to make sure that our love is pure and unselfish.

As parents we must learn to be more understanding towards our children's likes and dislikes.Talking about their studies in a public gathering like after a party especially in presence of the children and their friends by a father or mother maybe completely normal out of love to them but in today's hype age for our children it is not on !!

As parents we should learn to control our emotions and learn to live and let live by giving the correct doses of love and affection at the correct moment & above all at the right places without expecting any returns !! A thing very difficult to accept!

Inspiration

Have you ever asked yourself what is inspiration?

When the word inspiration is broken down into it's component parts, it simply means "in - spirit".

When you are living "in - spirit" You feel excited about yourself and your life. You have a special connection with all parts of your mind and body.

The question is how can we connect to our spirit at all times to take that actions that make all things possible ?

Below are ten keys to opening your doors to your inspiration.

1. The first key to inspiration is enjoyment. It would take a spiritual master to get inspired about doing the dishes. So find something that really excites you. It can be anything that you really enjoy.

2. The second key is love. When you are actively pouring love into what you are doing, this will guarantee that you are opening yourself to experiencing more inspiration.

3. The third key is to trust yourself. Listen to that little voice inside yourself and know that this comes from heart. This is called intuition.

4. The fourth key is to follow what your intuition tells you. The more you listen to it, the stronger your intuition will become. If you don't pay attention, that little voice gets fainter and fainter until you can no longer hear it.

5. The fifth key is to keep telling yourself "I can". These are some of the most powerful words that you can ever use. When you say this to yourself often enough, you build abridge between yourself and your inspiration.

6. The sixth key is not to listen to anyone that says "no you can't". They might think that they may not be able to, and try to project this negative belief onto you, but remember to keep telling yourself that, "I can! "

7. The seventh key is to believe in yourself. When you are backed by a strong belief in yourself and your dreams, nothing is impossible.

8. The eighth key is to avoid negativity. Ask yourself, do you really need to read the newspaper or watch the news on TV everyday ? Nothing kills inspiration quicker than being surrounded by bad news.

9. The ninth key is acceptance. Accept that on some days you feel much more inspired than on others. This is normal, nobody can be completely inspired every minute of the day.

10. The tenth key is possibly the most important of all. Take action every day, no matter how small a step it seems. Action is the fuel to the fires of inspiration. Make it a daily practise to keep your fire burning. The taking of actions, no matter how small, will fill you with inspiration for taking the next step.

Mind – The money making factory.

Some people at a very early age know exactly what they want to be, do, or have. They started dreaming early. Sadly, some of these same people allow their dreams to remain dormant like unlit charcoal lying in a barbecue pit. Their dreams have the potential to come true if ignited. But, most find it much easier to drift through life dreaming about wealth and success instead of taking action to make it happen.

If you have been dreaming about owning and operating a successful business, whether online or off -- if you've always dreamed of being your own boss -- if you want to build financial success in your already existing business, and it hasn't happened, then you must develop the mindset to make it happen.

Your mind, which functions like a computer, requires an efficient and positive program be fed into it on a regular basis. If you are losing money instead of making money, chances are your mind is not being programmed correctly.

When you do not take control of the thoughts in your mind, you will be taken on an unpredictable, "take-a- chance" course through life. When you do control your mind -- when it is filled with goal-achieving thoughts, you will be guided, without error, along a pre-determined course of your own choosing.

The secret to success in business is dependent upon the indoctrinations or beliefs currently running in your mind. Your ability to create financial success is determined by whether or not your mind is filled with positive programs.

It is easy to detect poor programming. If you are a negative, pessimistic thinker, a person of low self-esteem, constantly stressed, anxious, fearful, skeptical, use deceptive practices in business, avoid making decisions and taking action, etc., your mental programming is set for achievement- losing mode.

The opinions you hold about how to do business, the judgments you make, and the actions you take in your personal life and in business, are based on the indoctrinations you have received and mentally accepted.

As a baby, you knew nothing about success or failure. Along the way, you either grew into a success or failure after receiving a steady stream of indoctrination from parents, teachers, religious leaders, friends, relatives, and parts of the media.

To use your mind to create financial success in business, you must prepare a program for your mind, which stimulates and strengthens your aspirations and goals.

It is now time for you to take control of the responsibility for your destiny. Choose your own self-direction. If you indoctrinate yourself with the right concepts, words, ideas, and thoughts, you will set in motion the right actions.

Program your mind for goal achievement. Keep your thoughts focused on winning, and through the Law of Attraction, you will attract success and money to you with little effort. For you become what you think about most frequently.

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101 Ways to Praise a Child

Wow * Way To Go * Super

* You're Special * Outstanding *Excellent

*Great * Good * Neat * Well Done

* Remarkable * I Knew You Could Do It

*I'm Proud Of You * Fantastic * Superstar

* Nice Work * Looking Good *You're On Top Of It

* Beautiful * Now You're Flying * You're Catching On

*Now You've Got It * You're Incredible * Bravo

* You're Fantastic *Hurray For You * You're On Target

* You're On Your Way * How Nice *How Smart

* Good Job * That's Incredible * Dynamite

*You're Beautiful *You're Unique * Good for You

* Nothing Can Stop You Now * I Like You

* You're A Winner * Remarkable Job *Beautiful Work

* Spectacular * You're Smart * You're Darling

*You're Precious * Great Discovery

* You've Discovered The Secret *You Figured It Out

* Fantastic Job * Hip, Hip, Hurray * Bingo

*Magnificent * Marvelous * Terrific

* You're Important * Phenomenal *You're Sensational

* Super Work * Creative Job * Super Job

* Fantastic Job *Exceptional Performance

* You're A Real Trooper * You Are Responsible

*You Are Exciting * You Learned It Right

* What An Imagination *What A Good Listener

* You Are Fun * You're Growing Up

* You Tried Hard * You Care *Beautiful Sharing

* Outstanding Performance * You're A Good Friend

* I Trust You *Yippy Skippy * You Mean A Lot To Me

* You Make Me Happy * You Belong

*You've Got A Friend * You Make Me Laugh

* You Brighten My Day * I Respect You

*You Mean The World To Me * That's Correct

* You're A Joy * You're A Treasure *You're Wonderful

* You're Perfect * Awesome * A+ Job

* You're A-Ok-My Buddy *You Made My Day * That's The Best

* A Big Hug * A Kiss * Say, I Love You

*You have made me Proud!!!!!

Tell them what you Want

By Christopher Davies

Tell them what you want

One of the staff in a high school found it difficult to stop students running up and down the stairs. She continually told them not to run but it made little difference. She was at her wits’ end. I suggested that instead of telling them not to run she say something like: “Slow down please” or “Walk down the stairs.” She was excited and somewhat amazed to report that it had worked – such a little change in language brought such a marked improvement in the match between what she wanted the kids to do and what they actually did.

How does this happen?

If I don’t want you to think of pink elephants and I say “Don’t think of pink elephants” what happens? You immediately get a picture of pink elephants in your mind and then, if you are feeling complicit as you read this, you try not to think about them. Now, if I’d asked you not to think about red rhinos, for example, there is much less chance of you conjuring up those pink elephants.

The mind works a bit like a search engine on the internet. Put in a word, press SEARCH and all the references to that word come up on the screen. Put in a mental suggestion like pink elephants and you don’t even have to press a button; up come images of pink elephants on the screen of the mind.

And that’s what happens in kids’ minds when we tell them not to do something. Its not wilful disobedience so much as the mind making pictures and the body going towards them.

Bill Rogers – in his excellent behaviour management series “Corrective Discipline” – suggests using the pattern “When …. then ….” rather than “You can’t …. because….”

For example: “Johnny, when you have finished tidying your room, then you can go out to play.” rather than: “Johnny you can’t go out to play because your room is a mess”

With the first sentence Johnny gets a picture in his mind of tidying his room, then going out to play. Just what we want. In the second sentence we’re inviting his subconscious to picture himself not being able to go out to play and with an untidy room.

This works for our own internal dialogue as well. If we continually tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be eating those cream cakes (assuming we want to lose weight) we’re making things unnecessarily difficult for ourselves.

Suggestion

If you catch yourself about to ask a child, or tell yourself, not to do something, ask them/tell yourself to do an alternative instead. The unconscious mind will make pictures of whatever words you say – so choose the ones you want the listener to see.

Some alternatives to use.

I mustn’t eat that cream cake – I will leave the cream cake in the shop.

Don’t be late – Come home in good time.

Stop shouting – Talk quietly.

You can’t have any pudding because you haven’t eaten your meat. – When you’ve eaten your meat you can have some pudding

10 Amazingly Simle Tricks To Turn Your Brain Into A Powerful Thinking Machine

There are two basic principles to keep your brain healthy and sharp as you age: variety and curiosity. When anything you do becomes second nature, you need to make a change. If you can do the crossword puzzle in your sleep, it's time for you to move on to a new challenge in order to get the best workout for your brain. Curiosity about the world around you, how it works and how you can understand it will keep your brain working fast and efficiently. Use the ideas below to help attain your quest for mental fitness.

1. Read a Book

Pick a book on an entirely new subject. Read a novel set in Egypt. Learn about economics. There are many excellent popular non-fiction books that do a great job entertaining you while teaching about a subject. Become an expert in something new each week. Branch out from familiar reading topics. If you usually read history books, try a contemporary novel. Read foreign authors, the classics and random books. Not only will your brain get a workout by imagining different time periods, cultures and peoples, you will also have interesting stories to tell about your reading, what it makes you think of and the connections you draw between modem life and the words.

2. Play Games

Games are a wonderful way to tease and challenge your brain. Suduko, crosswords and electronic games can all improve your brain's speed and memory. These games rely on logic, word skills, math and more. These games are also fun. You'll get benefit more by doing these games a little bit every day-spend 15 minutes or so, not hours.

3. Use Your Opposite Hand

Spend the day doing things with your non-dominant hand. If you are left-handed, open doors with your right hand. If you are right-handed, try using your keys with your left. This simple task will cause your brain to lay down some new pathways and rethink daily tasks. Wear your watch on the opposite hand to remind you to switch.

4. Learn Phone Numbers

Our modem phones remember every number that calls them. No one memorizes phone numbers anymore, but it is a great memory Skill. Learn a new phone number everyday.

5. Eat for Your Brain

Your brain needs you to eat healthy fats. Focus on fish oils from wild salmon, nuts such as walnuts, seeds such as flax seed and olive oil. Eat more of these foods and less saturated fats. Eliminate transfats completely from your diet.

6. Break the Routine

We love our routines. We have hobbies and pastimes that we could do for hours on end. But the more something is second nature, the less our brains have to work to do it. To really help your brain stay young, challenge it. Change routes to the grocery store, use your opposite hand to open doors and eat dessert first. All this will force your brain to wake up from habits and pay attention again.

7. Go a Different way

Drive or walk a different way to wherever you go. This little change in routine helps the brain practice special memory and directions. Try different side streets go through stores in a different order anything to change your route.

8. Learn a New Skill

Learning a new skill works multiple areas of the brain. Your memory comes into play, you learn new movements and you associate things differently. Reading Shakespeare, learning to cook and building an airplane out of tooth picks all will challenge your brain and give you something to think about.

9. Make Lists

Lists are wonderful. Making lists helps us to associate items with one another. Make a list of all the places you have traveled. Make a list of the tastiest foods you have eaten. Make a list of the best presents you have been given. Make one list every day to jog your memory and make new connections. But don't become too reliant on them. Make your grocery list, but then try to shop without it. Use the list once you have put every item you can think of in your cart. Do the same with your "to do" lists.

10. Choose a new skill

Find something that captivates you that you can do easily in your home and doesn't cost too much. Photography with a digital camera, learning to draw, learning a musical instrument learning new cooking styles, or writing are all great choices.

"I v/s YOU"

We all have been a witness to this situation day in - day out, at home, at office, in the society at large this scenario of "I v/s You".

Some common day to day examples of such “I v/s You” are:

AT HOME:

· Husband v/s Wife

· Son v/s Father

· Brother v/s Brother

· Daughter-in- Law v/s Mother-in-Law

· Elder Daughter-in- Law v/s Younger Daughter-in- Law

AT WORK:

· Boss v/s Subordinate

· Subordinate v/s Colleagues

· Manager v/s Executive

· Workers v/s Managers

· Accounts v/s Logistics

· Operations v/s Marketing

IN THE SOCIETY:

· My Language v/s Your Language

· My Place v/s Your Place

· My Culture v/s My Culture

· My Status v/s Your Status

If you think deep and introspect of all the above relationships, you will get an insight that the result of this situation of I v/s You is non other than WIN / LOSE. Even if one out of the two wins the other loses and the competition continues like a vicious circle of Win – Lose.

And may I ask - Winning at what cost?

Losing the relationship at home, having bitterness with the immediate loved one?

Losing the good person at work or arousing resentment and demotivation?

Or shying away a noble person from the society or giving rise to a feeling of indifference, making the other develop an attitude of I don’t care?

Is this really Winning? Is it necessary to have such victory where the other lose?

This is a question which many people ask me during the workshops and training programs, Shabbar “tell me what do I do”, “Shall I start losing then” .. ‘Should I give up”.. or “why must I always lose”.. and as usual I love to say develop an attitude of “Win – Win’.

If your are in a relationship you cannot WIN at the cost of other Losing. This is not a game which you are playing where Winning is important. Yes, it’s a game where Win – Win is important like a true sportsman where you love and respect the other party.

I love to share this another beautiful example of your own body. Which is your strong hand? Which hand does more work? Which hand you use more often then the other?

The answer is, for all the Right hander it’s the right hand and the left hander it’s the left hand.

Now lets take the case of the Right Handed person.. Imagine this Right hand start playing I v/s You game, and says, “I am I what are you?” “I do all the work what do you do?” Right hand goes further and says “I will always be in the front of this body and you the left hand – the inferior, you will always remain back.”

Can you imagine how will your body look when you walk with your right hand always is in the front and left hand always back.. you will appear like a robot.. or it will appear weird.

Trust you will appreciate that the creator god has not made any distinction in our body between two similar parts, although one performs more and the other performs less or at times it appears so. How can you and me ordinary human beings practice I v/s You.

So friends, today, think about all your relationship and make a checklist where you are playing this game of I v/s You and practice the 5 A’s.

· Acknowledge

· Appreciate

· Apologize (it requires a lot of courage to do so)

· Ask for forgiveness

· Attitude of Gratitude

When you have practiced the 5A’s you will feel the transformation from I v/s You and you will feel the WE. This WE will be the power of Synergy to actually play the game against THEM where we need to win. A check list of “THEM”

· Ego

· Pride

· Hatred

· Disharmony

· Jealousy

· Guilt

· Fear

· Scarcity

· Limiting Belief

· Weakness

· Negative

· Our Competitors

Let us ‘WE” get together and WIN against THEM.

Trust you enjoyed reading the above. Request you to share your feedback on the same.